Nathan's New Boat

Post by **Tim** » Thu Jun 05, 2003 7:53 am

Nathan allowed the other day that he was thinking Dasein was becoming too cramped, what with a baby on the way and all. Besides, he continued, he wanted to ensure that young Gavin would be exposed to the "right" kind of boat, so as to form the proper kind of boating skills and knowledge. Besides, the sailing thing was getting old and boring, and he was seeking a new challenge.

Proudly, Nathan pointed to this boat and indicated that it was what he dreamed of.

Post by **dasein668** » Thu Jun 05, 2003 10:53 am

Isn't it sexy? Plus, there's no chance of anyone getting sunburned on that baby!

hehe

Where on earth did you find that monstrosity?

Post by **dasein668** » Thu Jun 05, 2003 10:54 am

Oh, looking more closely I see the Portland Pipeline in the background. Got that on your survey yesterday, eh?

Post by **Tim** » Thu Jun 05, 2003 11:04 am

I'm trying to picture the scene at the computer of the fellow who designed this. Did he really lean back in his chair, sigh with contentment, and say to himself, "Boy, I really hit the nail on the head with this design. Those swooping lines are the physical embodiment of absolute perfection."?

I can't imagine anyone really and truly thinking that this design has any merit. Apparently others do, because the marina where this photo was taken was chock full of similar real-life images of horribly bad taste.

It's a world gone mad.

Figment · Post by **Figment** » Thu Jun 05, 2003 12:46 pm

Unfortunately, Tim, the design world is rarely a start-from-scratch operation these days. I'm sure that the above pictured abomination is the result of hundreds of "design tweaks".

tweak a little here to get more salon headroom
tweak a little there to get space for a wine fridge in the cockpit
tweak a little here to move the helm forward for better visibility
tweak a little there for that sexy rollbar radar arch thingy
then stretch all the windows out for that "euro" look, and use the "spline" function of the cad system on all the lines.... PRESTO! instant hot seller! buy now and I'll throw in this 5gallon jug of 3M rubbing compound to help you hide your first season's docking sins!

you'd think the SPNEA would get the state of Maine to outlaw such eyesores. That thing is spoiling the picturesque downeast waterfront experience for the tourists!!! save the local economy! save the local economy!!! won't someone PLEASE think of the CHILDREN!!!

Post by **dasein668** » Thu Jun 05, 2003 1:56 pm

When I used to work at J. Weston Walch, publisher, we called the process that resulted in crap like that: Design by Committee. Happens way too often, and results in abominations and monstrosities of design in every field.

Post by **Tim** » Thu Jun 05, 2003 2:56 pm

Is it a camel that people call a "horse designed by a committee"?

kaynee30 · Post by **kaynee30** » Thu Jun 05, 2003 11:45 pm

Is that twelve or thirteen holes in the port side of that.....boat? What would all those through-hulls go to? Make her easier to scuttle?
She's got swoop and zoom, fer sure. Like something out of StarWars.
Nathan, u b stylin', dude.
Jeff

Post by **Tim** » Fri Jun 06, 2003 7:40 am

Actually, those through hulls are part of an advanced sideways-thrust mechanism to assist the skippers in getting in and out of their slips the one time a year that they can stand to unplug their power, phone, cable TV, and Internet umbilical cords and actually risk the boat in "open" water away from the sheltered marina, during which trips the engines' appetite for gasoline is surpassed only by the occupants' gulping of cheap bourbon and Zima.

Figment · Post by **Figment** » Fri Jun 06, 2003 9:14 am

the telltale of genius in design....

every one of those little thruhulls is juuuuuuust high enough to piss out onto the dock and get it all slippery.