A Prayer

Figment · Post by **Figment** » Mon Jun 27, 2005 9:30 pm

I dunno if I should be praying to Neptune or Norm Abrams on this one. Howzabout both?

Please, dear Normtune, God of all boaty tools, give me just two more weeks. Please tell me you're just messing with me. Please tell me that this steadily growing bearing's-about-to-skip-town noise is all in my head. Two weeks from now my beloved 6" sander can die an honorable death. I'll even bury it at sea. But not NOW.

Perhaps tomorrow I'll chant this prayer, arms raised with sander in one hand and rum in the other as I stagger about the shed in a trance.

Post by **Tim** » Tue Jun 28, 2005 6:24 am

Figment wrote:Perhaps tomorrow I'll chant this prayer, arms raised with sander in one hand and rum in the other as I stagger about the shed in a trance.

Call in the men in the white coats!

Robert The Gray · Post by **Robert The Gray** » Tue Jun 28, 2005 1:48 pm

I have heard that in the wilds of turkey, the country, not the whiskey, they worship the three bearing gods. the great Race which leads the other two, Roller and Ball. When these primitive/advanced people perceive an immanent bearing failure they whip up an offering to the gods. they use an offering of goat grease, rendered from their milk, the goats not the people, and their belly fur, the people not the goats. It takes three days for this grease to reach the proper state throughout this time the owner of the suspect tool must refrain from the use of anything from beyond the bronze age. after the three day period they would gather the village together and have the women bring all their sewing needles, prick their fingers and add their blood to the offering, after some dancing and drinking, there is always dancing and drinking during the bearing rituals in the wilds of turkey, they pour the offering into the tool while the owner beseeches Race, Roller, and Ballto stay togeteher until the job is done. once the grease has run through the machine they set it aside to help remove belly hair for sanitary porposes, the goats not the people's,
of course this is just what i have heard and I my self am kinda hairless and i hardley ever see goats, so I use a bit of three and one oil and two sets of hearing protection. like mickey mouse ears over foam earplugs. For your self figment, take this advice with a grain of salt, it helps preserve the goats milk. good luck.

r.

Jason K · Post by **Jason K** » Thu Sep 15, 2005 7:03 pm

Please, dear Normtune, God of all boaty tools, give me just two more weeks. Please tell me you're just messing with me. Please tell me that this steadily growing bearing's-about-to-skip-town noise is all in my head. Two weeks from now my beloved 6" sander can die an honorable death. I'll even bury it at sea. But not NOW.

Did it work?

Figment · Post by **Figment** » Thu Sep 15, 2005 7:14 pm

Yes, the sander survived until launch day.
Well, it's not really random-orbit anymore, but on the other hand it didn't burst into flames during use, so I suppose the above depends on one's personal definition of "survived".